


The Unspoken Truth

by JaJani



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3947257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaJani/pseuds/JaJani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren, strong-minded and hardworking but a college drop-out, starts clinging to the nightlife to escape the fears inside him- sees a particular character who plays bass for a popular band at a spot in the highlight of his home, Sina. What happens when under the strong influence of drugs and alcohol, they meet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Other Half is Looking

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, hello everyone. This is my first actually fan fiction since I was ten. I am currently a graphic artist, I put away my keyboard for a pencil and just now I'm picking it back up. So I might be a little rusty. 
> 
>  
> 
> The idea for this story came to me as I finished reading another story, "What it Means to Feel" I am sure you know it- UGH. Such a great story. ; - ; I want it to finish. But for now i will go about with focusing on my own work. I should post a chapter every one or two weeks. Depending. Afterall it is summer time soon. huhu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night life always goes by in a blur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASDFKL My first chapter- bare with me, they aren't going to meet in the chapter. Its a bit more of how Eren's nights are. His name isn't even mentioned because it was all first person. But yes, this is how he is. A bit. A part of him.

 

Two days. I stared at the blank screen in front of me hour after hour, my eyes burning hot red as flashes of past nights reoccurred to me over and over in hazes. I shut the laptop screen down and gave up on working on my essay.  _It hurts._  My head boiled and I fell back on my bed. I needed something, I needed..... something. I turned over to face the wall, looking up at the window. I realized that I was unaware of what time it was. It was dark. Funny, despite how long I had been starring at my screen for hours. I took a deep breath and slipped out of bed. My feet fell asleep, and I tip-toed towards the bathroom until I felt they were awake. Looked up at the mirror to see a brown mass of hair sticking in all sorts of directions. In a attempt to manage it I shed my clothes, turning on the shower and stepped it despite the cold rush. I shivered and yelp loudly, clinging to my body as I titled my hair at the nuzzle until the warm water cascaded down on my body and I sighed in relief. I took the time to shower properly, leaving the shower as a dripping mess and quickly slapped gel on my drenched cluster of hair. I sighed. I needed... something. I dropped my towel, not even bothering fully dry myself off and walked to my drawers back in my room. I rummaged through my clothes, pulling out a tight grey V-necked shirt, and pulled it on with little effort. I stared at myself wildly at the mirror by my dresser. Pants- I went back to the dresser. I slipped on a tight black jeans under my boxers. Brushed my hair back as much as I could, but even with the gel it still managed to fall back into a usually slopped mess of bangs and cow-licks. But I did the best I could, I grabbed my keys, a black leather jacket and my wallet. I stood by the doorway thinking... I needed something. I need.... I turned around, walking back into the and sat on my bed. I stared heavily at my hands.... I needed something. I needed something... I nee-

 

The phone rang. 

 

I jumped up in surprise and looked over at my desk. Was it my phone that I needed? I looked at the caller. Mikasa was calling again, I hit ignore. No- not my phone. Something better. Something I knew would leave me hanging on the edge of the world, and a call from my sister was not the trick. I left my phone on my bed and headed out the door.  I could still hear my phone ringing as I shut it. The rumbling sound of my neighbors voice as he yelled at his wife gave me a good idea that it was past nine o'clock. Why didn't I check the time when I had my phone? No worries. Not like I will need it later. 

 

oXo 

 

The first place I hit was a twenty minute walk from my apartment, it was centered on the main street and the bass sounds bumped and pounded at my heart when I stepped in. The music drowned me in a frenzied, and the first thing i felt was bodies. Sweet hot bodies brushing against one another in attempt to dance, drink or leave. But who was leaving so early? Nobody. I mingled my way over to the bar, by hair falling so much to my face that my crystal blue eyes seemed to disappear in the cast shadows of beaming lights. I sat down at the open stall and called for the bartender, I called for a Bloody Aztec, but within just ten minutes I had six. My body felt the buzzing and my mind lingered on something... something. Within that dark moment I found myself on the dance floor, some girl was brushing her ass against my crotch and I flinched. Moving away as she turned to look at me stunned. I slipped from the massing crowd- this wasn't the same place. 

What had I moved? I looked up a ceiling. The lights were different, the colors of reds, blues and golds danced crossed my face as I felt a hand grab my shoulder, I shoved it away without even looking, and looked down at my wrist. Four. 

 

Suddenly I was beginning to understand. My eyes went to a man, he was tall with the ugliest face known to the planet. It scared me and I bit my lip. 

"HEY!" He yelled, grabbing at my arm again. I cringed and pushed him away but he grabbed onto me again. "You crazy fucker- give me back my shit!" I looked at him disarrayed, pushing and pulling between my free hand and a captured one before his fist caught right in my face- I dazed. 

 

I was on the street, huffing. .... I was running. I stopped. Feeling the cool air of the night's wind brushing past me oddly gentle. I patted my pockets, my keys and wallet were still there, but I found something else. A phone? It wasn't mine. I thought back to the man. Had I stole it. I dumped it immediately on the ground and kept walking, my body swayed as I did, making me dizzy and I gripped a light pole to vomit. I starred long and hard-

 

The music was back on. The loud thumping pressed against my chest, a glass was in my hands but I didn't know the contents, it looked like more vodka and I immediately shot it down. I was moving in the dance floor, grinding against anything that came into my distance, I felt hands and asses, brushing along me as I drowned away and a light cast down on my eyes as I starred at the ceiling. I realize then it was the moonlight. 

 

A quiet scene came to me then. I was starring a the bright full moon. My lips pressed against my fingers and I realized I had blood on my fist. I starred at them and realized it wasn't mind. I shook my head but it only made me sick. I bent down with the feel to vomit but it never happened. I should go home, but I need something. I brushed my hand over my arms- my jacket was gone. And probably along with my keys and wallet. I patted myself down sluggishly, I managed to have them both. Fantastic- I should go home.... but i need something.... I should- I thought I heard a phone ring. I starred at the ground. Was it mine- no I don't bring my phone. I turned around me. And I starred at the building in front. Had been in there. No- this was a bar, not a night club. Was it? I couldn't read the sign, my eyes where blurred. I limped-walked towards the door and swung it open with my body, stumbling in. 

 

Like always, the music hit me first- but not loudly. Like a soft cooing to my ears. It relished in sweet harmony to a beat that sent my mind at ease. I stumbling into a chair, and leaned my entire body on the hard black table. Causing it to squeal eerily against the melodies of my ears. I winced. Laying my head on the table as the music played softly. The music.... oh it was truly .... something. The soft notes danced, the beats rocked my mind gently back and forth and replayed in my mind. Even when the music stopped I could hear the traces of its melody. I opened my eyes half-way and starred. The stage was to brightly lit for me to focus on. I slid into my chair more and lifted my head up, clapping, or attempting to. My body swayed in my chair as the new song began, but it was all bass. Soft. Deep. Restful bass. I starred at the stage, looking at the musician who stood up on the stage, looking down at his instrument as the notes escaped into the air. Even if I could see properly, his face was hidden by his own hair, but he wasn't that important. His music- god his music. I laid my head back on the table, feeling peaceful and fell asleep. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q-Q Thank you for reading. Its a big hard to get the flows going but once they get going theyyy goooooo. Anyways, that is the end of this short chapter. It feels more like a intro than an actual chapter though. But I think it was important to emphasize the kind of perspective that he is having on a regular night. All his black outs are important, and I have him have lots because .... it serves a reason later lol .
> 
> Again thank you for reading. I will be working on the next chapter, yes~


	2. Chapter Two: Progression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haha... Yup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So second chapter is out- yay! I edit my own work so it does take some time. Between being a artist, student, college student, and big sister I was wondering why I started this- but i really wanted to get this fanfiction off my chest. Just so you know- this story is what I find very much more real. I love fanfiction, but sometimes.... sometimes LOL. 
> 
>  
> 
> In any case, enjoy!

My literature class was never relatively quiet. Our professor, Dr. Grabbs always seemed to be a hype of explanation of explaining and devoting himself to the power of writing. My mind always seemed to wander about before I would focus back to my book. The lesson we had today was particularly uninteresting because it was already mentioned last week. It felt quite like a review and that usually meant a ten page essay afterwards, my mind will only return towards the last ten minutes of class. Instead I drowned myself in my Calculus book, marking important notes in my notebook. It for silent for a moment before suddenly the usually murmuring uproared and I heard feet movement. I looked back up. The lights always seemed to make me feel uneasy, the shined pearl white against the rest of us and it made the room feel ghostly. There were my classmates, walking and talking among each other until I saw Annie walk up the steps to me and dropped her backpack beside me on the desk. 

"We're partners." she announced and I stared at her from a moment, my lips already purses in a questioned look and she, without a single change in her face spoke again, "We are working together. Were you paying attention?" I shook my head and she barely made a twitch in her eye. A indication what she was obviously annoyed. "Grabbs' making us make a play about our subject." 

"What is the subject." she sat down, her back straight and she went though her perfectly organized backpack. "We get it out the end of class." I stared at her. 

"So then why are you here now. If we aren't working on anything?" She lowered her already stern eyelids a bit. And I shut up instantly. I went back to my math and notes. she sat beside me and worked on whatever she was doing. I didn't bother to look. I sat in silence with her for a moment before and realized why she as there. I could hear. I rolled my eyes and held a smirk. It was Nac. He was on the platform. I rolled my eyes for a second before looked up to the time. it was almost the last ten minutes of class when a piece of paper was slipped on my book and I looked down. Forgiveness. I looked up to Annie who was already reading her books as if the paper never happened. Our project was on forgiveness. How unexpected. I took the paper and folded it in my binder before beginning to pack up, Annie did not lived but I could feel her shift as Nac's got louder. That meant he was coming close to us. 

"Yo Eren!" He chimed, walking straight to us, Annie immediately began packing up her things and was gone before I had a chance to finish my clean up and look up to see his face. His face as always fresh and clean, his black oiled hair pushed to the furthest of his face as a big half-faced smile plastered on his face. he leaned against the table as I stood up. 

"Yeah what's up?" I said back causally. 

"What do you mean what's up! We got plans man. Serious plans!" I rolled my eyes. "Getting wasted is not a plan man, it's a waste of time. I'll pass." He smiled brighter,

"Awww but it's your birthday! Let's go party like it's your last."

"If I go with you it would be my last." I rolled my eyes. how did he even know it was my birthday? I wasn't dropped the information to anyone. But then I had an idea: Mikasa. I sighed and headed down the steps to the exit, half smiling at my professor as I walked out the door. Nac followed close behind me.

"How about for half the night. Just come with us to this rave. it's always wild but in a good way. You can drink good. Your sister is okay with it!"

"Good to know I got my sister's permission to do whatever I want." I answered saecasicall. What is with people thinking that she was my mother. I did have parents. We did have parents. 

At some point, Nac continued in pursuit in trying to get me to say yes. I ignored him desperately down the hallway until I reached my car. the sounds of his voice seemed to tune away as I focus on what was suppose to be my car, but instead it was decked in balloons and birthday signs. ".... What the fuck......" I heard them all scream: Happy Birthday, Eren!

I starred. This was something.... something I didn't want. but what did I want. the sounds of their talking, some people I didn't even know that had joined in. I looked for my sister as she smiled, a small dint in her perfectly straight face. I Mouthed to her, whhhyyyy. But she just shrugged and enjoyed the moment. Sasha, a bright eyes girl who took the same French class with me offered her congratulations. I felt trapped. I didn't even bother faking a smile. what was so fantastic about turning twenty one. Who cares about drinking when you can read? I huffed. 

"Look guys... I know this is all good and dandy but I really don't want to party or celebrate or.... I have work to do." I drowned and the looks on their faces didn't seem to fade in determination. Before I knew it, Nac gripped me tightly and smiled. "we knew you'd say that." 

My 'friends' all smiled at me, and it began. the pleading. the whinny whinny pleading. the puppy eyes. the constant you'll never regret it's. They echoed and repeated so loudly I couldn't even ignore them out. I dropped my backpack on the floor and huffed, "Fine! dammit. one fucking party! One rave. one whatever the fuck but then no more, got it?" I crossed my arms, and with great excitement my friends cheered. I rolled my eyes, grabbed my backpack and started popping the balloon my car with my keys from the front and back windows. 

oXo

The first thing that I felt was anxious. Loud music drowned out my thoughts and feelings as I was hasted into a room cramp with sweating hot bodies. I felt my whole body become fixed with others as they brushed past me, a lingering scent passed and rubbed against each other, leaving sweet perfume and my simple cologne to constantly intermingle. I wanted out immediately, but Nac and the others I could from the motion of bodies. Annie, who moved closer to Mikasa, Armin, who normally timid, excitedly motioned to the bar. Sasha and Connie were leaning against the wall talking over the loud music, I would be surprised if anyone could hear anyone else voice from how blasting the beat of the music was. Droning and prying away my abilities of focus, I looked up, instantly dazzled by the flashing and blarring lights. In that instant, Nac grabbed my hand and brought me to the bar. The bartender looked at me with an enthused smile. His face was fat, making jiggly cheeks move up as his thin lips perked into a question: What will you be having today.

Nac grinned. “Ah- hehe what do you want Eren, you need at least an idea of booze.” I rolled my eyes, “Of course, uhmm..” I starred at the bottles. “Give me a vodka…” the bartender looked at me with his big wide eyes, and smiled. I had to lean forward to hear what he said, so he repeated louder. 

“Don’t worry man- I’ll hook you up!” he turned away to speak with the others at the bar and I leaned away. Nac with a big smile on his face.

“I’m so happy you decided to show!” he teased. 

“Not much of a choice anyone was giving me. But it’s just one night- whatever.” I turned away from him too. Taking in the scene more. How do you do it? How to they do it. Bumping and grinding against one another. To have such intimacy with complete strangers? I had spent my whole life defying whatever I saw fit and digging into my education. Believe it or not, I had never once even visited a bar. I felt Nac tap my shoulder and he held up my drink. I looked at it curiously. 

“It’s a bloody Aztec man.” he put it in my hand, I looked down at it and I sipped. Holy Shit. 

By the end of the night, I had four of them. And with the blanket of drowning music, flashing lights and the sweat of dancing bodies- I could say I was lost in the rhythm. 

It was that night, I think. That I began to realize that something in my life was missing.

oXo

I woke up to someone shaking me- I groaned. Slipping down from what I assumed was the table and half-opened my eyes. A man, bigger than anything I had ever seen was looking down on me with concern. 

“... Oh, good you are awake. Listen, if you do not lea- Woah!” I lurched forward, knocking the chair I was sitting on backwards and hurled on the floor, the man took a step back and after a while of vomit and cringing. He started to pat my back. “Come on, son. We called you a cab. Just let's get you home… you remember your address?” the man tried to help me up, I tried to look at his face, figure what kind of head sat on a body like his. It was too hard to try, I leaned into him a bit, he smelled fresh. No cologne or extra- but like a warm clean bath. It felt nice against the roughness of my own smell I could assume. I coughed, pushing him away again and stepped away crazily, almost slipping in my own vomit and ran towards what i thought was a door. I hit the wall hard, my body shaking in shock and I slumped down on the ground. I stared at the dim lights for a moment before I heard a sigh and a shame came and helped me back up. He was taller than me, blocking away the lights, and as he motioned for me towards the door, I stared up at him. His eyes were a pale blue, light and gentle like his voice, was he blond? He tilted his head for a moment before gently ushering me out the door.

The air was unsurprisingly cold, and I shivered without my jacket. The dim lights outside were brighter than the bars and I squinted just barely, feeling the need to vomit I pushed off of him again, and he let me. My whole body shook as I hurled bile, cringing as it burned my throat and mouth. I stood there for a moment, waiting. 

“Alright son, in the car.” his big hands were on my shoulder- guiding me. I stumbled in, using more of his body for support that my body was lacking and slumped into the seat. The man handed the guy cash, as from what I could see. “Let him know where you live- you should be good for the night. Take care, son.” I wanted him to stop calling me son, but he shut the door. The man in the front waited as I slurred my address and dipped back into sleep. It was only until I was awake later on that day, that I fully took account that I was awake. 

oXo

I was grinding, yes. Me. Eren. Grinding. On who? I didn’t care. Nac seemed to catch a sensation of pride of getting me into clubbing, and for as far as I knew. It was fantastic. The lights, heat, dancing, the intoxication. I found that going out to party was the greatest way of slipping from my stress with my life. I felt stupid that my own stubbornness prevented me from partying for so long. What the fuck was I thinking?

I danced for five songs on two different people before I slipped back to the bar, Nac was leaning close to a brunette, her eyes seem to flicker to her drink whenever it was close to empty, and Nac had no problem refilling it either. I smiled at him before leaning back over, the bartender big brown eyes went to my apparently alluring eyes, she blushed. I smiled. Walking away with a margarita free of charge. It was a easy thing for me. I drank and danced but never beyond that. I have never taken a man or a woman home afterwards, there was no way. I had no interest in one-night stands and those who proposed them to me would end with a look of disgust, but I came to the conclusion of just pressing their attention to one-night-stand himself, Nac. He had no problem with whipping out his junk to strangers. I sipped at my margarita before checking the time. Twelve. Perfect. I looked over my shoulder and searched for Nac again, still pressed next to his prey. I waved at him, pointing to the door. With intention of keeping eyes on one another, he saw me a lot faster than normal and nodded. I was telling him I was leaving and after he got the message, I patted myself down and headed towards the door. Setting the empty glass on a random table as I did. 

The cold air was a brisk reminded of the outside world. It stung but felt good against my skin as I took in air. I started down the street, hands in my pocket towards my car when I saw a group of guys, roughly my age- standing in a circle laughing. They were leaned up against the car to the left of mine. Brushing my bangs from my face, I saw two of them look at me suspiciously before laughing raciously. I fumbled for my keys.

“AYE-” I flinched a bit, looked over at them. They were all looking at me. So I starred back. 

“Omg- Nell look at his eyes- fucking beautiful.” A red haired girl squealed. I wondered how she was not shaking in her boot. Literally. Her black leather boots reached slightly passed her knees, leaving a portion of her upper thigh bared until it reached grey shorts that held in tightly with a spiked belt. Her shirt was transparent and thin. She curled her lip, pursing it like a kiss, when the guy, Nell grinned. His hair was hidden in a hat, probably short. I stared at the bull-horned shape nosering on his face before I: “hu?”

The others laughed at my answer, another guy smacked the back of his other friend and huffed loudly. Nell lifted a blunt up in the air. “We got extra man, want it.” I immediately started with the answer “no.” but I stared at if for a second. What this was like… weed right? Its suppose to calm you down. I shook my head again. “I’m cool man.” I nodded, opening my car door. 

“Neeeelllll you’re letting him get away.” the girl groaned, Nell rolled his eyes. “Shut up Carol.” he pushed her away slightly and took a deep drag of the blunt. The smoke frothed from his mouth, slithering down to his body. A couple, I assumed, took the blunt. One took a long drag, leaning towards the girls mouth and kissed. I couldn’t tell exactly, but the female blew the smoke right back in his face. I shook my head. Focusing back on getting in the car, starting the engine and waiting for it to warm. I sat there for a second. Carol skipped over to the front of my car and poked her finger at the window. I looked up at her and shook my head. The feeling of alcohol was about to serious tamper my thinking capacity and I pulled out slowly, watching her bend over in a whine. I drove away back to my apartment. 

oXo 

I had my eyes open, looking up at the wall that seemed more interesting than the thoughts that truly preoccupied my mind. I had certainly founding something though. I rolled on my side. Pressing my back against the cold wall as I counted sheep in my mine. I was so tired- despite having just awoken. 

It felt like I had laid there forever, but the reminder of reality came to me when my phone rang again. I took the time to look at the clock: 2:47 P.M. Shit. I answered. 

“Yes?” I cringed at the reply. “Where the fuck have you been, Eren!? Do you know how worried I was? You did not pick up last night, I came over and you were not there! Where were you all night?” I rolled my eyes, and quickly end called. I could feel the rage from her even after I hung up. I did not feel the mood to deal with Mikasa so early in the morning. I hopped out of bed then, aspirin already on the counter in the kitchen. I swallowed some water from the faucet and took three. I stripped my sweaty clothes from my body and jumped into the shower, uncaring of the cold sprays. I was out before the water could warm. Out in two minutes, I grabbed whatever clothes there were clean. A pale grey shirt and sweats. My flip-flops were on the couch, I slipped those one and quickly left my house. I could guess Mikasa would be here soon. I took the stairs, slipping to the parking lot and fumbled for my keys. I pushed away random crap in the driver's seat and pulled away. I check my phone and saw that Mikasa had not called me. As I drove towards the freeway, someone else did. It was Armin. I sighed. She was probably with him, so I ignored that as well. 

I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going until I stopped by an old house, right of the freeway. I looked at the people walking on the sidewalk until I pulled in on the curve. The moment I got out of the car I heard a squeal. I looked up and saw Carol, her stomach large as she dropped a basket and came bouncing over to me. “Oh Eren! You’re back! Come on- Vanessa is waiting for you.” I shooked my head. “I don’t want drugs today, Carol.” she titled her head in confusion. 

“But then why are you here?” I didn’t know. “Maybe I just wanted to see you.” her face went red and she laughed heartily. “Oh goodness- say that out loud again and I might have to steal you away.” I laughed weakly, following her into the house. My body found the couch and I leaned into it, there were other people there- already baked and I took a deep breath. Vanessa, in all her fish-net glory came walked bare-footed into the living room and she smirked. “Oh Eren.” Her hair hit her hips, but if she wasn’t still flat-stomached, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference in her and Carol. Twins are a funny thing. She sat on the couch, clinging into my lap and I stiffened. Brushing away some of my hair with her fingers she smiled slyly. “You here for me or something else.” 

I didn’t know. “Maybe both.” she laughed, slipped her hand down and I took a deep intake of breath. “You know I don’t do that- “ she rolled her eyes, keeping her hand down at my groin. “You will one day.”

At this point in my life, I was surprised that I hadn’t. 

I stayed there for hours, waiting for the night to rage on before I said my goodbye to the twins and the group that had slipped their way into the house. I was barely off my high as I stepped out to the street and rubbed my temples. It was eight finally, my aspirin was fading away, which means I needed to either take more medicine or alcohol. The bar didn’t seem like a bad idea. 

Walking to my car, I headed back to where I last blacked out. 

oXo

“I must say, Mr. Yaeger. I find it confusing that your grades have dropped significantly within the past few weeks.” I was looking down at my Calculus teacher, or more- the extra link across his forehead that crinkled and dropped as he spoke. How does your mouth affect your forehead? I wanted to ask. He looked at me funny, my eyes burning red after coming from Nell’s house. I had found him again, Nell, in my neighborhood two weeks after meeting with him. It took some convincing and promises before I started with week- but it was awesome. I was trying not to look to hard as Mr. Young. But it he was making it extremely difficult. “Mr. Yaeger?” had he asked me a question. 

“Sorry sir, I am a bit tired.” I felt at the dark circles under my eyes. He curled his lip in displeasure and crossed his arms. “Young man, you are grown, so I will speak to you like you are grown. I know turning twenty-one is the highlight of your youth, but if you continue to drop in GPA, you will loose your scholarships and grants. Is that what you want? Or would you rather get high everyday?” I was halfway tempted to say both, but it didn’t matter. He did not expect me to answer. I nodded throughout the rest of the lecture, apologizing when it was needed and “yes, hmm, mhmm, yes, sir” whenever it was suited and I hit the hallways. Armin and Mikasa were waiting for me by the door. 

I could tell from how they both hushed their conversation that they were obviously talking about me. I smiled, “What? All these years and now you're keeping secrets?” Mikasa shot me a look while Armin’s face dropped. He moved towards me, I gave him a look and it made him sigh and head towards the car. Being as we all lived in the same direction, we all carpooled, but I wasn’t home when they came to pick me up. I was at Nell’s. So it came to a surprise when Armin walked towards my car instead of Mikasa’s. His eye caught mine, staring gently with a sensation that knew he wanted to talk. It was almost begging when my red-hot eyes narrowed into slits. Mikasa spoke up first. “I have to go see Annie today, So I expect you to take Armin home, you can do that right?” I rolled my eyes. 

“I am not incapable of life, Mikasa.” she heard her scoff. “You seem incapable of keeping your grades up.” I slammed my hand on the top of my car and turned to her as she stared back. She parked to the right of me, and I stared hard at her back. “If you want to bitch, you better do it in my face.” I hissed, Armin flinched as he shook his head.

“Armin we are ju-”

“Just concerned about what the fuck you’re doing!” I finished.

“No- no… we … it-it” Armin bit back his tongue in the struggle, and I sighed in frustration while Mikasa got into her car. “Hey! You want to say something say it! Don’t make a shit comment and pretend it didn’t happen! You did this to me! Making me go out and shit- and look now!” I yelled, she ignored me and started her car. 

“I fucking thought so.” I curled my fist and got into my car. Hissing for Armin to do the same and he slid into the car awkwardly, just barely closing the door before I pulled out after Mikasa and went speeding away. Armin was still in his chair, fiddling with his seatbelt. I knew he wanted to say something but my mood brought a tension that made it impossible for him to speak. And so we sat in silence until I dropped him off. I sped out of his neighborhood and headed towards Nell’s. 

Armin quickly turned around from what I saw in the mirror, he was calling to me. But I didn’t stop nor turn around. If anything, I sped up. 

oXo

I pulled up towards the parking lot, and sat in my chair for a while. I was clear now, I felt the dullness of being sober of everything and sighed. Running fingers through my dark brown hair. I looked up at my face, my fingertips trailing along the dark circles under my crystal blue eyes. They only seem to make them bigger. I grabbed my wallet and flipped through the twenties before slipping out the car, pressing the lock button and looked up at the sign. It looked familiar enough. I could never tell during those kinds of nights. Pushing my hair back, I stepped in. It was half-way packed. Smooth music played in the background but it was from the stereo. It wasn’t what I had heard before, that live-butterfly music that sent my whole body at ease. I immediately went over to the bar and the bartender gave me a funny look. I was about to say something when he grimaced. 

“Fuck- it’s you. No- get on out if you're just planning to pass out on my bar again.” he growled. I looked up him and down and scoffed. The man had the ugliest haircut, it curled like spider legs at the front of fluffed to the side, his skin seemed creamy patted, which purpose was to cover the significant amount of creases on his face. I smirked. “You? Telling me to fuck off? Shame” he lifted his wallet, flopping the fat stack down on the table. “I did not think bartenders were one to give up a fat wallet.” The man, stopped cleaning his glass, set it down rather angrily and leaned forward. “Listen you little shit- I have a right not to serve you. This is private fucking property.” I wanted to punch him in the face, and I would have. Had I not been stopped by a hand on my shoulder and a stern voice from behind. 

“Aurou your manners.” It was smooth and hot- the hairs on my head stood in surprise at the familiarity. I looked up at the taller man, who had a gentle but stern smile on his face. He looked back down at me, probably taking note of my bewilderment. “You were the man from last night. I should say you look much better tonight.” he mentioned. His hand left my shoulder and Aurou, apparently, straightened up his back, “Erwin, you don’t understand thi-”

“This man is a customer. Who had a terrible time last night. But do mind,” he was looking at me again. “how much you consume, son.” I blinked. 

“It was you! The guy who got me that taxi.” he merely nodded and I shook my head. “No- I … uh- thank you.” I said quickly. “How much do I owe you?” I fumbled afterwards, but the man just laughed. “Nothing. I got that money out of your own wallet.” he smiled, and my face went hot- I felt it. His blue eyes seemed to brighten when his perfectly white teeth flashed. I unwillingly looked away and back to the grumpy bartender. “Hey barkeep, hand me a bloody aztec.” I dropped a twenty on the bar. “And keep an open tab.” Aurou glared at me before turning away to prepare my drink. I watched him intently. “I’ll know if you spit in it.” I heard him scoff. 

With his back halfway turned from me, I swirled the barstool back to the stage, it was completely empty. Erwin had disappeared off somewhere and I leaned back. “Hey- don’t you guys have live performances?” I looked back over to Aurou as he set the drink down. Taking the cash and writing out the bill. He scowled at me funny for a moment before a swift reply from dried thin lips. “We do. However, it is a special three day nights. We have bass guitar from Dead Sins playing tonight. In a couple hours, this place will be at maxed capacity.” I gave him a look. He rolled his eyes, “Dead Sins? …… there are an famous alternative band, dumbass.” I shrugged. I never listened to anything other than classics and stereotypical techno music from clubs. I never heard about alternatives unless it was to pass any form of music class. Even then it was a ear shot experience. 

“Alright- so what about last nights performance? When I arrived.” a vein throbbed in my head. “Stop scoffing- you sound stupid.” I took a sip of my aztec. “Why the fuck are you asking so many questions?” He sneered, but then disappeared to help another customer. I had nothing to do then, and that feeling… began to creep back inside of me. Maybe this was the wrong place? I thought that it was possible to hear somewhere else- I just imagined it, my brain was late. I heard it earlier. I was day dreaming. It wasn’t real. I sighed, guzzling down the margarita before calling for another. I checked the time at a little past nine. I could drink as much as I wanted. There was no reason for me to do anything else. I looked over to the bar again as my glass was set down, Aurou went away just as he came, I realized soon enough that it was indeed filling up, not like a club would, where bodies brushed and mingled with one another, but with the closeness of skin when people desired to get from their seat. I wondered maybe if this was suppose to be a private setting, but Erwin appeared again, and many of the customers sitting down called to him. Slapping shoulders, shaking hands, embracing tight hugs, laughs and then silence. Only for a chuckle to escape as I watched the man moved through the crowd before sitting down. Was he part of the band? I sipped my margarita. 

I think, I had four before I heard a mic, the simple stage lighting up in clear white color. Erwin was standing on the stage, fiddling with the sound and chuckled. His voice was clear and calm, it was gentle to my ears despite how manly his voice echoed against the mic. “Well, I say the crowd is looking a whole lot better than me tonight- except for you, Mikey.” The crowd laughed heartily, I looked over to where Erwin’s eyes went, but only saw a young, bright eyed woman rubbing her bulging stomach lightly, a smirk on her face. A friendly one. He joined with a small chuckle before carrying one. “You know… me and the band. We have traveled around this entire country. Back and forth until it drove us mad. And I thank you all- our true friends. Our true fans. You are what made it possible for us to grow and become what we are. And so I thank you. To continue one our three-night special. I dragged out the grouch himself, to perform his solo for the rest of the night.” some short laughs and chuckled. “So enjoy yourselves, we are here for you.”

There were a few comments in the crowd, all rather corny remarks and fun whistles. A great deal of laughter as I realized just how seemingly private this place was at the moment. It felt more like a reunion than a performance. I shifted in my seat, my drink in hand uncomfortably. I could sense Aurou behind me wiping glasses. 

“Haha- alright! Let’s welcome our very own. Come on out, Levi.” The crowd gave a warm applause, in the midst of the moment. I joined them. I heard a shift from behind the stage, and my eyes widened slight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI- I suck at names. I was pulling them out my ass. I promise that next chapter there will be Levi! I mean... duh. He was just mentioned! However, this isn't your classic romance story, I hope you know. There isn't exactly any angst or terrors of life- it's simply how I think it would really happen. Those sparks only come where you have the right things to make it light. And I don't think first meetings really happen like that- I mean... all greats to you if it does. But- yeah. This is leaning more towards realistic novels. And i am expecting to have a whole lot of than twenty chapters at least. Some will be shorter than others, but depending on what happens. And just how badly I want to leave you cliff hangers bwahaha//shot. No just kidding. I am ahead in this story. So there is actually more than what you are seeing as of the release, but I want to add more for the next chapter. And I do promise - there will be more Levi. eue


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